So around August/September last year I had found a site that hired Au Pairs for international work. I have always wanted to travel, but have never been able to mostly because of money, and definitely because of time. (always working on something) I have lots of family in Berlin, being the granddaughter of immigrants, so my first choice was to go there. My plan was to go this month this year actually. Because my lease would have been up at the end of this month. I was all about it. The center I worked for seemed to be going to the shitter, financially, with our hours getting cut, and people being let go and so on. I knew I had no future there anyway, so I figured planning my next step was crucial. (I was in a weird place anyway, since I had to sign a new lease at my apartments, and get a new room mate, it was like I could just bail any time) So I started looking into getting everything I needed to make this move possible. The Au pair program has a minimum of 6 months. So I would go over now, and stay until December. It would have been a nice break from people, family, chaos. A good friend got me a learn german cd and booklet and I started using my dad's old text books to teach myself. Around this time, I started dating JJ. I told him about my plan, and he was all for it. Why not take the opportunity to do something awesome. He would miss me, but it was worth the experience, plus he promised he would visit at least once if not twice. So I got my passport, and started looking into the nitty gritty application process. I found that because I wasn't staying a year I would have to pay for my own plane tickets. So i needed $1,000. I figured ok..still worth it. Then I looked at the pay. I would be making $400 a month. I would be living with the family, and I would get a travel card, with money to put gas in the familys car if they let me use it, or I would use it for bus fare and what not. I would also have meals provided, and work 5 nights a week at least 3 hours, but no more than 6. It still seemed ok, but I was worried. What would I do with my car? Sell it then scramble to buy a new one? keep it, and try to keep payments and insurance on it while I am overseas? Dad could take care of it right? What about my phone, could I switch plans to international? How much would that cost? And would $400 be enough to pay for my car/insurance/and a phone bill as well as keep up with every day life AND I would also have to be in a german language class while I was over there and I was unsure if that was paid for or if I had to pay for it, and the reality was I wouldn't be making enough money to cover all of that. I sat on the idea for a while.. Could I still do it, would I find a way? Should I just sell my car and worry about that later? It was too much to think about, and right around that time my boss moved 12 hours away from the company and pretty much left it to rot. (luckily some time later a parent with a lot of heart bought the company and is currently trying to save it from disaster.) I felt the heat under my feet, I had to switch jobs, I couldn't hold out another 5 months. So I started applying everywhere. I talked to JJ about different job opportunities and how there are so many more jobs in cville, but finding one that paid enough to keep up with the commute would be a challenge. I found one that just barely made it above the line of not being worth it. The job I found had more than i bargained for. Not only was their pay above average for childcare (meaning above minimum wage) but it offered education incentives, so I am back in school on the companies dollar. Finding this opportunity made me decide to put Berlin on the back burner. for now. Maybe next year. 6 months is a long commitment. And living with a family seems uncomfortable, and being with out a car would drive me nuts, but I suppose if I want to do it bad enough I will. But knowing me another opportunity will pop up next year professionally to make my life easier here and I'll take it. There is just so many options. And my brain is all over the place. To put that in perspective here is a list of everything I want to do.
1. Teach Highschool art but not until I'm almost to retirement
2. Work as a Case specialist, or development specialist for Social Services either here or in Fishersville.
3. Be a program specialist for a school or center
5. Work for Pixar
6. Be a race car driver, or motorcycle racer
7. Be a well known artist and make all the things in my head come alive (which could tie into pixar)
8. Be a motion picture designer for music videos. (also could tie into pixar)
there are more but I can't remember all of them
also I want all the cars and motorcycles
I want a two seater sports car like nobodies business. I prefer a solstice, but honestly I am not picky. I like the look of a Spyder, any make, but toyota takes the cake with fuel economy. And I love corvettes, but try keeping insurance on that!
I also want a jeep, with fat tires
and a beat up truck
and i love my smart car
and I'd love to have a van again, not so much to drive, but to make a club house for my kids
And I want a nice ninja (mine is a project bike, and even tho it has been fun, I think a slick ride would be better for me)
I want a soft tail, and I want a standard cruiser.
For now though, my life is...I'm a student AND a teacher, I live in a quirky little apartment that I am allowed to paint and modify. I drive a smart car because I commute to work 20 miles. And Im on a track to somewhere.
Wow what a post. Everything will fall into place eventually, where I am suppose to go and what I am suppose to do, and have.
Life is what happens when your busy making plans.
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