She did something

Mugshot

That is the idea for our book. Dalten and I are going to write it. I want to think Tyler and nick will have a part in it, but honestly I'm not sure they would even be interested.
James might have a story to tell as well.

It's funny. Secretly I always wanted to be "normal" because I thought the more normal I was the closer I would be to having a normal life. You know like grow up with both parents AND your siblings. I'm starting to come to the realization that my hate for my mother was less for me and more for Dalten. I was always so sad that I did not have a mother, and I really can't explain that pain but I can tell you that seeing my little brother in so much pain is very hard. I think it hurts worse knowing that I wasn't there while he was being abused by his step dad. It's bizarre because around that time I was also dealing with an abusive step mom. It would have been so much better if we were together.
Dalten was living with our younger brother at the time, and seeing them now it is so evident that they love and look out for each other. I'm glad that at least they had each other.
What's bothering me now is, I have no want to talk to my mother. None. I thought maybe it will be good for both of us, but I know she is still lying to me. And I can't forgive her for what she did to Dalten. At least not until he does. It's too painful to see him hurting.
I am glad his dad found him and got him away from that awful situation. The place he is at now, the people he is with are all so beautiful. I hope he sees that as much as I do. It's a miracle we all turned out ok. It's the same feeling I have towards my nanny and even my dad. My nanny is my angel. She's always been there. I think I I cried more on her shoulder than anyone else's. I love my dad more than words. I wish there was a way for him to take me away from that situation and still be close to my brothers. I'm still a bit angry that he accidentally stuck me in another bad situation but I guess accidents happen.
It's hard to think of life as it "could've been" so I try not to.
So now I wonder what life will bring. I feel so connected and I use to feel so lost.
I hope that trips out to see my family in the west becomes more of a regular thing.
It's good to dream. At age 15 I truly believed I would never see any of my brothers again. So anything can happen.