FEAR IS BUILT
Where is that balance
between wanting what you want, and being happy with what you have?
Where do team work and independence collide?
When do we decide to make a change?
Do we decide to live a certain way based on ourselves or our situation?
Is all of life situational? Is making the best out of a situation the answer? To everything?
We all have options. We can do this, or we can do that. We have to commit to something to understand its good and bad points.
Nothing is "perfect" its not meant to be. I don't want to live a scenario, I want to live a dream.
If I join a team, I expect my team mates to work just as hard as I do. I fear that they won't. But I trust that they will.
I can see the life I want. But it's all relative to timing. Is it the right time to make this move? To make this change. To take this step.
Maybe I'm impatient, but is it a bad thing?
Can I make these changes with or with out other people. Unfortunately no. I have to have this team this effort. So in short I have to completely understand what I want and how I want it before I get people to join me.
Born leaders are fearless. Born leaders make decisions.
Born leaders are loved, not feared.
So build love, not fear.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Spoiled
by love on my birthday!
from everyone,
one person is particular is unbearably cute.
I have no idea why I am in love
nope no clue
check it
http://www.oh-so.net/2013/02/13/tell-me-the-water-is-air/
from everyone,
one person is particular is unbearably cute.
I have no idea why I am in love
nope no clue
check it
http://www.oh-so.net/2013/02/13/tell-me-the-water-is-air/
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
One progression of thoughts.
I only get 1 life
I only get 1 u
It's easy to get your head and heart to come to a compromise if you use your gut.
Instincts, we have them, we don't use them.
Instincts help me ride my motorcycle
they help me fuck like an animal
they help me dance divine.
Without instincts our brain controls our functions,
Without instincts our brain tells us our heart is just not in it
without instincts we don't know how to listen to our hearts
we can not hear them
we can not feel them
we can't even feel our own bodies.
Each function has its own seperate feeling. Walk around your house barefoot, feel the ground as it touches the bottoms of your feet. Some surfaces are cold, some are soft, some may be covered in cat litter.
As you step on a cold surface feel the chill as it moves up your leg, your thigh, your hip, and son on.
Can you feel it move through you?
Light a candle, touch the flame. Let it burn a black path on your finger as it moves around and through you at the same time.
Pull your finger away from the flame. Let the memory of he heat radiate through your skin, and spread.
Try to transfer this heat from one hand to the other.
Can you feel it?
Now...
try this with love.
Can you feel your lover?
Can you remember their touch? If you were blindfolded could you tell if your lover was touching you or if its someone else?
Run you fingers over your lovers face, let your fingers dance over their features
trace their profile in the air.
Why we think orgasm is the ONLY way to stimulate the senses (on average) Is something I will never understand.
If you learn to feel, you will ignite your senses all at once all the time.
Can you really say you know what the sun feels like?
Or how it feels to let the wind take you?
You can smell wind, taste wind, see wind, feel wind.
What about water?
This may sound crazy but you have to understand that it is our brains that allow us to function in any certain way, to experience or to be ignorant.
Our brains tell our hearts to stay quiet.
Quiet your brain, let your heart speak.
The human body is an amazing network, and an amazing structure. We are capable of so much physically but limit all that we do, all the time, based on skill, age, knowledge, fear, etc.
One thing I enjoy more than anything... facing my fears. Often I kick and scream and cry, but eventually I give in, I give in and let my body go.
The best way to learn to ride a motorcycle is to drop a motorcycle. It will scare the brains outta you.
Learn how to swim, almost drown
Learn to dance, embarrass the snot out of yourself (I still do, every single time I dance. it's the best)
Learn how to speak german, pronounce a word wrong to your german grandmother...you won't do it again...trust me
Learn how to drive, reck that shit.
Learn how to fuck, pop that shit.
Learn how to do laundry, ruin that shit.
See what I mean. Not everything comes naturally, especially in our spoon fed culture.
I only get 1 u
It's easy to get your head and heart to come to a compromise if you use your gut.
Instincts, we have them, we don't use them.
Instincts help me ride my motorcycle
they help me fuck like an animal
they help me dance divine.
Without instincts our brain controls our functions,
Without instincts our brain tells us our heart is just not in it
without instincts we don't know how to listen to our hearts
we can not hear them
we can not feel them
we can't even feel our own bodies.
Each function has its own seperate feeling. Walk around your house barefoot, feel the ground as it touches the bottoms of your feet. Some surfaces are cold, some are soft, some may be covered in cat litter.
As you step on a cold surface feel the chill as it moves up your leg, your thigh, your hip, and son on.
Can you feel it move through you?
Light a candle, touch the flame. Let it burn a black path on your finger as it moves around and through you at the same time.
Pull your finger away from the flame. Let the memory of he heat radiate through your skin, and spread.
Try to transfer this heat from one hand to the other.
Can you feel it?
Now...
try this with love.
Can you feel your lover?
Can you remember their touch? If you were blindfolded could you tell if your lover was touching you or if its someone else?
Run you fingers over your lovers face, let your fingers dance over their features
trace their profile in the air.
Why we think orgasm is the ONLY way to stimulate the senses (on average) Is something I will never understand.
If you learn to feel, you will ignite your senses all at once all the time.
Can you really say you know what the sun feels like?
Or how it feels to let the wind take you?
You can smell wind, taste wind, see wind, feel wind.
What about water?
This may sound crazy but you have to understand that it is our brains that allow us to function in any certain way, to experience or to be ignorant.
Our brains tell our hearts to stay quiet.
Quiet your brain, let your heart speak.
The human body is an amazing network, and an amazing structure. We are capable of so much physically but limit all that we do, all the time, based on skill, age, knowledge, fear, etc.
One thing I enjoy more than anything... facing my fears. Often I kick and scream and cry, but eventually I give in, I give in and let my body go.
The best way to learn to ride a motorcycle is to drop a motorcycle. It will scare the brains outta you.
Learn how to swim, almost drown
Learn to dance, embarrass the snot out of yourself (I still do, every single time I dance. it's the best)
Learn how to speak german, pronounce a word wrong to your german grandmother...you won't do it again...trust me
Learn how to drive, reck that shit.
Learn how to fuck, pop that shit.
Learn how to do laundry, ruin that shit.
See what I mean. Not everything comes naturally, especially in our spoon fed culture.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Sitting at the Edge
Sitting at the edge of the universe.
my brain won't stop moving. it talks and talks and talks
and yet...
even though sleep can not silence it, sleep helps organize it.
If I could sleep away my problems... would it also eliminate my fears?
As I sit on the edge of this shift, holding my balance
as the world turns, and moves around me
as the people pulse and the vibrations surround me
I sit still and wait
do I wait to jump? or am I waiting for a push?
when is the time right? will it be a straight shot? or a free fall?
What if i just hang there, in mid air. no movement, just more of the same old thing
I couldn't handle that.
If I wait to long to jump, I will be pushed. Is this push going to be bad like the rest?
Is my life going to turn upside down, will the main multiply?
As I fight to survive and experience everything to the fullest.
I am lost in my head
I want freedom, I want to be free!
emotions and feelings are not the same
I am angry <feeling>
I have anger <emotion> something that is playing out.
True feeling is very peaceful
I am scared, I have fear. I can get rid of fear, but I must experience being scared.
I must know everything, every step, every vibration
Because this is my life and I only have one.
Life is not full of chances, it is full of differences.
full of CHANGES
I know what I want. I want universal love and understanding.
I know I must find this in myself before I can seek it out in others
I must be fully aware and relaxed to be truely ready for the shift.
I must no feel anger towards people who can not live up to my expectations because
expectations are not for us to decide. We must give love freely and not expect to get it back.
The hardest. because a love that is shared is a bond that can not/should not be broken. But see, that is the difference. The bond is the importance, not the love. the love is a personal FEELING that we experience. It is good, it is pure. We do not stop loving someone because they have done something wrong. instead we break out bonds with them. If you can honestly say you do no feel love towards an individual for some reason or another, then you never loved them to begin with. I fully believe that bonds are broken when there is a weakness on one side or the other. Ideally, they will never break, because the love would never change. But we are unstable creatures, with unstable minds, and breakable souls. We are not in sync. we are not in tune. We do not FEEL correctly, we identify our emotions based on our programing. We can not simply feel, we think first how we should feel.
That is why I don't like how people instantly go to a mental folder when you start talking about a trying time in your life. "My father use to beat me, and I can not forgive him." instead of listening and understanding that the individual does not have to forgive or even acknowledge his/her father, we try to mend the "broken child" within. Trying to help the individual find forgiveness, instead of finding peace. Forgiving someone is acknowledging that their actions had the intent of hurting you, which is rarely the case. If I can understand that the things you do are normally not influenced by my existence, then you can understand that my "reaction" to you, has probably less to do with you, and more to do with me. AND when we can see both perspectives at once, we find our plain of sight. free of haze
Freedom
my brain won't stop moving. it talks and talks and talks
and yet...
even though sleep can not silence it, sleep helps organize it.
If I could sleep away my problems... would it also eliminate my fears?
As I sit on the edge of this shift, holding my balance
as the world turns, and moves around me
as the people pulse and the vibrations surround me
I sit still and wait
do I wait to jump? or am I waiting for a push?
when is the time right? will it be a straight shot? or a free fall?
What if i just hang there, in mid air. no movement, just more of the same old thing
I couldn't handle that.
If I wait to long to jump, I will be pushed. Is this push going to be bad like the rest?
Is my life going to turn upside down, will the main multiply?
As I fight to survive and experience everything to the fullest.
I am lost in my head
I want freedom, I want to be free!
emotions and feelings are not the same
I am angry <feeling>
I have anger <emotion> something that is playing out.
True feeling is very peaceful
I am scared, I have fear. I can get rid of fear, but I must experience being scared.
I must know everything, every step, every vibration
Because this is my life and I only have one.
Life is not full of chances, it is full of differences.
full of CHANGES
I know what I want. I want universal love and understanding.
I know I must find this in myself before I can seek it out in others
I must be fully aware and relaxed to be truely ready for the shift.
I must no feel anger towards people who can not live up to my expectations because
expectations are not for us to decide. We must give love freely and not expect to get it back.
The hardest. because a love that is shared is a bond that can not/should not be broken. But see, that is the difference. The bond is the importance, not the love. the love is a personal FEELING that we experience. It is good, it is pure. We do not stop loving someone because they have done something wrong. instead we break out bonds with them. If you can honestly say you do no feel love towards an individual for some reason or another, then you never loved them to begin with. I fully believe that bonds are broken when there is a weakness on one side or the other. Ideally, they will never break, because the love would never change. But we are unstable creatures, with unstable minds, and breakable souls. We are not in sync. we are not in tune. We do not FEEL correctly, we identify our emotions based on our programing. We can not simply feel, we think first how we should feel.
That is why I don't like how people instantly go to a mental folder when you start talking about a trying time in your life. "My father use to beat me, and I can not forgive him." instead of listening and understanding that the individual does not have to forgive or even acknowledge his/her father, we try to mend the "broken child" within. Trying to help the individual find forgiveness, instead of finding peace. Forgiving someone is acknowledging that their actions had the intent of hurting you, which is rarely the case. If I can understand that the things you do are normally not influenced by my existence, then you can understand that my "reaction" to you, has probably less to do with you, and more to do with me. AND when we can see both perspectives at once, we find our plain of sight. free of haze
Freedom
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