We've all heard the story of stone soup.
I am very fond of the story and a firm believer in the philosophy. When we all work together we can make beautiful things happen. When we are greedy, we lose.
I wish the world were that simple. The story of stone soup rests on the premise that for the most part, the items everyone has are equitable. So sharing to a single pot to make something much better, just makes sense. I mean, having potatoes might be a bit more valuable in terms of versatility and edibility than say... salt? But potatoes are so much better with salt, so it ultimately creates a win/win. When we are talking about "the pot" in larger terms...a larger scale. The complexities are vast.
Here is a story about soup that I hope helps explain.
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A young girl moved to a village, in valley, on a river. The village was quaint, as were the mountains. Nothing like she was used to. She lived with only her father. They had very little, but everything they needed. At least in the mind of a child.
She spent her days reading, drawing, writing. Her father would join in on the fun making paper dolls, racing toy cars, and dressing up in goofy outfits. They lived together on top of a tall hill overlooking the town. Their tiny, simple world was nearly perfect. But still, the girls father was lonely.
As time passed, he became lonelier. The people in the village were relatively nice, at least in passing. They'd say good morning, good evening, god bless. But often, they were nowhere to be seen. Soon, the little girl starting feeling what her father felt. They were outsiders. A bit different than the others.
The towns people all seemed to know each other, any many of them were related! The little girl started making friends, as did her father. Her first friends were two small girls living next door. They were near the same age, and loved to play. The little girl shared her paper dolls and cars with the girls next door. Together the three girls would spend afternoons hopping over the fence between their yards to play tag or maybe hide and seek until it was dark. It felt like her nearly perfect world was growing.
Then one day, the little girl knocked on her neighbors door to ask them to come out and play. Their grandmother answered the door and told her they were not allowed to play with her anymore. The old lady told her she was an awful child and needed to stay away from her grandkids, then slammed the door. The little girl went home to her father in tears. "What happened?" Her father asked. She had no idea. Had she done something wrong? Her father went next door to find out. Before long she heard him shouting, briefly, before returning to their home. He told the little girl she had done nothing wrong. "Sometimes people are scared of things they do not understand. That does not make it wrong." he said to her.
Life wasn't easy with no friends and no family outside of having each other and a few relatives a couple hours away. The little girl spent a lot of time home alone while her father worked. He'd lock the door and tell her never to answer it, writing his number by the phone in case of emergency. She spent long hours at school, often being the first one dropped off in the morning and the last one picked up at night.
"It won't always be this hard" her dad would say. "One day we will have a larger family." "Booo" she'd say to him. "I like our family just as it is." Most days he'd laugh. But one day, he only managed a sigh. "Think of it this way. Families are like soup. Rather, families make soup." He walked over to the pantry. "Our family right now, is like this tomato soup. Now, I LOVE tomato soup. But it's no vegetable soup or chicken noodle." He put the can down. "You can't live on just tomato soup, but I'd wager a good chicken and vegetable soup could keep someone alive for a good while." The little girl looked at him puzzled. The father smiled. "If we are tomato soup, where you are the tomato and I am the broth. What if we add a potato and a carrot? What could we make then?" He waited to the little girl to answer. "Vegetable soup" she smiled. "I get it. The larger the family, the more ingredients you have for soup!" she pondered for a minute. "I don't like carrots in my soup, can we find peas instead?" The father laughed. "I hope we find much more than that kiddo. We are going to have the best soup anyone has ever had."
{insert happy ending full of peas, carrots, chicken, onions, raddishes, etc)
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------------------------------------------- Extended version ---------------------------------------------------
For years the father tried to find a family for him and the little girl. You'd think in a place full of families, one of them wouldn't taken them in. One year, the father met a woman with a daughter a few years older than his. She made the father happy, but wasn't very nice to the little girl. "Remember," the little girl would remind herself. "We are making soup. Onions are good even if they make you cry."
The woman and her daughter moved in before long. Dinners were ate at the kitchen table instead of the couch. Bathrooms were decorated, and candles were lit daily. The little girl could see that her dad was happy. The little girl wasn't the last one to be picked up at school anymore, and she didn't have to spend a lot of time at home alone. In fact, she was never alone. Things seemed to be looking up. For a while.
Then school started. The father handed the woman some money to take his daughter with her school shopping. "Would you mind? You are going with your daughter anyway. It could be fun." The woman agreed. Excited, the little girl ran to the woman's car and hoped in the back. It had been a long time since she had been shopping. Her dad would take her to Walmart, which was fine. But she knew the woman and her daughter shopped at all kinds of cool places. She started daydreaming. The woman got into the car and spoke only to her daughter. "Where to first?" They spent the afternoon driving around to different stores. The little girl would pick up items and look at them. Holding them up to her chest in the mirror. "Put it back" the woman would say. "This store isn't for you." After 3 or 4 stores the little girl asked. "What stores are for me?" the woman and her daughter laughed and rolled their eyes. The little girl kept looking at clothes and shoes. And the woman kept telling her to put it all back. Finally, at the end of the day they pulled into a Goodwill store. "This store is for you." The woman sneered. The little girl was familiar with goodwill, and didn't really mind it. But was confused as to why she wasn't allowed to buy anything from the other stores when the other girl did. She fought back tears and went in to search for clothes that fit her. The woman had her try everything on. Some of the things the girl really liked. She'd come out of the dressing room gleaming. The woman rolled her eyes. "I guess we can get that one." If the little girl liked something too much, the woman would tell her to put it back. "But why?!" The little girl exclaimed. "Because I said so." the woman would yell, embarrassing the little girl.
On the way home the little girl sat in the back of the car with one bag on her lap, with one pair of shoes, a few shirts, a dress, and 2 pairs of pants. The woman's daughters bags were overflowing on the seat next to her. She fought back more tears. "Onions are good, even if they make you cry." she reminded herself. At least she got to go shopping.
When she got home she showed her dad what she got. Still a bit teary eyed. He looked over at the woman's daughters bags, then back at his own daughter. He stood up and pulled the woman to the side. "What happened? Did I not give you enough money for her to get stuff at the other stores?" the woman's face lost some color. "Oh! I mean. It was enough I guess. But she's 9. She doesn't need to spend a ton of money on clothes she will grow out of in a few months? 9 year old's always shop at Goodwill. It just makes sense." She looked at the little girl. "Besides, she loves Goodwill. They had perfectly good clothes and I saved us some money!" The father shrugged. "I guess that makes sense. She is growing like a weed."
I wish I could tell you the soup got better. It did not. Before long, the father started tasting how bitter the soup was with bad onion, what was left of this soup that is. He sat at the table holding his head one night. The woman's daughter had become pregnant and needed a car. So the father gave her his classic car. The woman needed new tires on her car, so the father paid for it. "That's what you do when you are family." He'd tell him daughter. "You take care of each other." He tried so hard to take care of them, but they didn't take care of him. They just kept taking from him. The little girl spent most of her time in her room. Usually grounded. Alone.
This soup sucked. What was left of it.
One day, the woman left. She took a lot of stuff with her. The house felt bare. The father didn't fight her. After she was gone he laid down on the couch, and closed his eyes. The little girl, now growing up a bit, sat with him. And he cried. "You did nothing wrong dad. Sometimes people run from those they wrong."
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The not-so-little girl and her dad rebuilt their soup. Their basic, yet perfectly warm and flavorful tomato soup.
When it was time for her to leave the house and go out on her own, her dad split the soup with her. "You know how to make this and keep it warm." He said handing her a thermos. "Go make soup in the world! I can't wait to see what you make"
